Grocery Shopping

I am not a big fan of shopping and my family knows it. I don’t have the patience to walk into a store without a list in hand or at least knowing exactly what I want. I don’t enjoy grocery shopping and at one time I remember shopping once a month (beside milk and bread). I would fill up 2-3 carts of food and literally spend 300.00 in a single trip (and this is when groceries were a might bit cheaper). We would go weeks with plenty of food and as it dwindled, I would get very creative with my cooking so that I would not have to go. I don’t enjoy clothes shopping either…what a bore! If I need a pair of jeans…grab a size 12 standard, shirt…size large, just grab and go…shoes 8 ½ wide, I’m sure they will fit. I usually do not bother taking clothes back…I’m sure they will fit someone or I would rather drop them off at Goodwill. I recall when the children were younger I would wait until they went to school before I would trek out on my venture of getting the best deals at very low prices. Another good thing about only grocery shopping once a month is that I usually had coupons galore, and if and if I could I would wait and use them on double coupon days…life was good.

One day I decided that I would go to the store and save a bundle at Aldi’s (a new store that advertised great prices)! Aldi’s is a great place to save BIG money especially if you had coupons. I remember it being a beautiful fall day, not a cloud in the sky. I decided that all of the kids and I would go grocery and sweet shopping at the Wonder store. When I say all of the kids I mean ALL of the kids, Zach, Jesse, Jodi, Logan, Cassie, Carly and Angel (the last three kids I babysat for). We piled into the Suburban and were on our way!  We went to the Wonder store and bought all kinds of tasty treats, bread, rolls and biscuits. I opened up some Nutty bars and handed each child their treat with a bottle of water to wash it down wish, so that they would not be starving when we reached the store, and we were off to Aldi’s! When I reached our destination in Avon, I had three hundred dollars, a line of kids to push carts and a plan! I would go in and have four of the big kids push carts; we would fill them to the brim and zip in zip out we would be home within an hour. I am a very fast shopper! We pull into the parking lot (we actually got front row), piled out of the Suburban and searched for carts. After looking around for a moment we saw them in a cart corral, however you had to lease the use of one for a quarter! Are you kidding me? I am not one who carries change lying around; I have children…not change.

 Let me explain to you how this works if you do not have children. Children require a lot of money to raise properly, most of this money comes from change. An ice cream truck comes down the road, the children run to the change jar; the child loses a tooth and Walla! There is change waiting for them the next morning under their pillow, there is a bubble gum machine in every grocery store, gas station and video store…and this requires quarters times four or seven kids. At the end of the day if an adult is fortunate enough to have any change left, this goes into their college fund or better yet known as the change jar. When my children remind me of how I should pay for their college years, all I really need to remind them of when they ate their tuition in ice cream bars and bubble gum!

Anyway I digress…I do not have change; what I have is seven chocolate covered crabby kids, three hundred dollars and not a quarter to my name! I search my purse, pockets (of all of us), my car and my console. Nope…nada…nothing. Carly has a stomach ache, Angel and Jodi are playing tug of war with Logan, Zach has to pee and I have a headache! We scramble back in to the Suburban with me muttering *insert bad expletives* about Aldi’s and what they can do with their carts, food and coupon deals and go home vowing never to enter an Aldi’s ever again! It was another week of creative cooking before I would venture out into the world to go grocery shopping (anyone remember eating octopus on a bed of seaweed?) .

Oh Yes... There is One Almighty God

So you’re wondering if there is a God. Be sure to know that there is one Almighty God and He watches over us every day. As for me, I talk and talk and talk to Him but sometimes I forget to listen, okay most of the time I forget to listen. He has a way about Him…He will make me listen…he speaks to my heart and if that doesn’t do the trick He will speak to me directly! I am but a work in progress. Be still and know that I am God. Yes Lord I know that you are God….but to be still? For me this is hard to do. I am constantly, watching, thinking, worrying, working…..and yet I know I should be still and listen. I’ve been told this numerous times growing up and still into my adulthood…be still, stop pacing, stop fidgeting, stop talking, be quiet, calm down…you’ll work yourself to the bone. No...I will not stop; my mind goes a hundred miles a minute trying to anticipate my next move or the move of my kids, family, co workers, friends or neighbors. I wonder if they need anything, want anything, if a book that I’m reading will be appreciated by them or offend them. I wonder and think too much…. I do most of my talking to God in the car…there I have to be still and I listen….sometimes.

I remember the day that my sister Teri’s husband passed away. Skin cancer that took a deadly turn, David was a nice fellow and he believed in God. He loved my sister with all of his heart and he provided for her and my niece Sarah and my nephew Kyle very well. David loved Sarah and Kyle as his own.  He wasn’t a handsome guy, but had many qualities that I loved and admired. Everyone was welcome in his house and he had many friends; he and Teri went to church, prayed and played together. He wasn’t one to judge another for their past and took everyone at face value, from there he would determine whether or not they were trustworthy, honest and loyal.  There were many times that I thought to myself “she is so lucky to have a man like that in her life, now maybe she will settle down “. She and David weren’t married long before the diagnoses came and it was devastating to see this wonderful man turn into someone who couldn’t recognize us, couldn’t speak and became someone we couldn’t reach. Clay (their son) was 6 months old when David passed away. The day of the funeral was a warm sunny day and in my opinion funeral days should be cold, cloudy and the weather slightly miserable. I decided to go to the funeral alone, left my three children at the daycare center where I knew they were being taken care of.

I decided that I would fill my tank up in my green Areostar van before I left the city. I popped out, filled it up and was getting ready to leave when I heard a voice say “buckle your seatbelt”. I looked around but didn’t see anyone…of course not; there wasn’t anyone but myself in the van. I, who now preaches about seatbelt safety, rarely wore one at the time. I brushed it off as, I must be tired and stressed…and then began driving out of the lot. Again I heard a voice “I said put your seatbelt on”. Now you would think that this booming voice was in my head…no it was plain as day…audible and without a doubt not my imagination.  Hmmm…okay so I was losing it…not a problem, I buckled up my seatbelt. Maybe then the voice would leave me be. I was traveling from Brownsburg to Noblesville (about a 45 minute drive) on the interstate at a good clip (but not speeding) when I noticed that traffic was slowing a bit. I decided that I would simply go around and pass them, as I said… I was not speeding but wanted to be at the funeral home before most of the folks got there. I looked over my left shoulder to check upcoming traffic; it was clear, turned around and WHAM! I ran right into the car in front of me that was at a dead stop, going about 55 miles per hour. My airbag did not deploy and if it hadn’t been for the seatbelt I would have flown out of the windshield and been killed (so said the police officer). Thankfully no one was seriously injured (except my pride). I only had bruises from the seatbelt and a dislocated shoulder; the other folks weren’t seriously hurt either. A police officer arrived on the scene shortly after and then called an ambulance and a wrecker. I shooed away the paramedics and told them that I needed to be at a funeral, signed waiver papers and contemplated how I was going to get to the funeral home. My van was totaled and was being towed off to a friend’s gas station. The police officer asked me if I had someone to pick me up and I replied no. I was not about to roust someone away from my sister and simply told them I would walk. He said get in the squad car and then transported me to the funeral home. He didn’t seem overly pleased at the prospect; he thought I should be at the hospital getting checked out. He said that I was being obstinate - I thought he needed to mind his own business and turn on red lights and siren (I had someplace to be). No one knew about the incident until after the service was over. My brother Mark found out when I asked him for a ride back to our town (I hate worrying anybody).  I think back and wonder where my kids would be now…without a mother….without God in their lives. I thank God that I was still and listened (okay not the first time but the second). I know there is a God and He sent His angels to protect me. The Lord has His hands full and I am sure that I have more than one angel watching over me. He is truly an amazing God! So children, be still and know that there is a God…the same one who watches over me, watches over you. Listen and be still. This does not mean that He won’t let us stumble or let us fall, but He will be there as our Father to pick up the pieces and hold us when we cry out in pain, in desperation and when we shake our fists at the unfair world in which we live. He will also be there when we, find simple joys in our everyday lives, sing praises and Thanksgiving to Him…He is an awesome God and I thank Him every day for the blessings that He alone gives me. I pray that you find peace with Him. Can I hear an AMEN?!

Having a Bad Day

Now I know that folks have bad days...I've a had a few too many in the past few months. So I've learned a few things...such as if you can't beat em.....laugh with them and take second place.  If you don't make mistakes....you don't learn a lesson. Parenting is harder than ANYTHING I have ever done or want to ever do in my future. Anyone who knows a little bit about me knows that I adore kids (including my teens) however mine have caused me and the police to have a few good run INS. To make a long story short (well sort of)… Jodi (my adorable 15 year old), who was on probation (for minor offenses) decided that she was going to take a walk after curfew...not a bright idea. I told her “no” and that she was on curfew and that she knew that she wasn’t allowed to go anywhere but the front yard, Jodi (being Jodi) left. I calmly went upstairs and removed all of the electronics out of her room; I thought to myself that this would be easier than when she came home.

 I  then took off in Rick’ car to hunt her down and throw her in the trunk (figuratively speaking of course). We live in the center of Brownsburg and it wasn’t difficult to see her walking down the street, as if she owned it. We played cat and mouse for a while….she would see me coming and then turn the other direction….this is a game in which I do not enjoy.  I finally pulled into a parking lot, which I might add was in front of the police station and across the street from my home.  We ended up in a  tussle (of course on the police station lawn), I was trying to put her in the car to go home, she was kicking and screaming until, we both were tired and bruised so I let go and then she proceeded to march up to the police station to turn me in for child abuse! Brat...no I did not abuse her.  I told her that going to the police was not going to solve any problem and that she was going to end up in more trouble that she was ready for. The police were very tolerant and asked if she would go home “No” was her answer. I told her that she could spend the night at her dad’s, again with the “nope…not going there either”. Her grandparent’s house was also an option….have I mentioned that she a very obstinate girl? I ended up going home after two hours of trying to talk her into going home or anywhere other than juvenile. The police finally had enough of her so they cuffed her, and she ended up going to juvenile (this was on a Wednesday)... I was told that I should tell her probation officer that she had broken probation and that she was now in a secure youth facility....now the police said that I should do this in person anytime the next day. Well *yawn* I had a long night tossing and turning, so I rose with the sun, grabbed a pair of jeans (previously worn the night before - grass stains etc.), grabbed my favorite sweatshirt (a few small stains, a little hole here and there), yanked my hair back (no time for a shower, no makeup), I figured I wasn't going to the ball however I did scrub my face. Anyway you get the picture. I arrived at the Probation department (Thursday) and was told that “no the probation officer wasn't in and that he was in court” (with my daughter)! Really wish someone would have told me she had court the following day....As I walked in the courtroom, her name was called and the look on her face (rolling of the eyes and Thee shrug) was ...in fact priceless. Who could blame the girl? I have had better moments. I was told that her "sentencing" would be the following Monday - Kids Court. Monday is kid’s court day in our county ...all bad decisions that children make and when they get caught, are brought before the judge. She spent the weekend in juvenile detention. So on the following Monday, I was bound and determined to look presentable before the court, nice pants, blouse, hair "fixed"....I can clean up pretty good if given the opportunity. By golly I was even 5 minutes ahead of schedule (this would come in handy later in my story). So I fixed a steamy OK…. scalding cup of coffee in a spill proof cup, grabbed my purse and out the door I went. I was traveling down the road and about 6 miles later took a sip from my cup and walaa the lid "Popped" off and I had scalding coffee all over my legs and my hoo-ha. Sitting in a puddle of scalding coffee and driving straight is not an easy task...thankfully my phone was saved. Normally I put the phone in between my legs as I'm driving so I don't have to search for it if it rings (most ladies I know do this - for safety reasons). Out of pain, worry, emotions I cannot express...I flipped the phone up and into my purse (lucky that it landed inside) and saved it from drowning. OK so now what? I don't have time to go home and change...no Wal-mart, Dollar General...or anything between me and my destination. I am thinking while I am driving with my butt up off the seat (the seat and my butt are still steaming), about what I can do, what can I do, what can I do???? Alas there is a solution!!! There is a bag of Goodwill clothes in my trunk! Thinking to myself...what is in there????? Jodi had  placed a bag in there a week or so ago...there must be a pair of jeans, pants...even sweats would be at least better than walking in with coffee all over me. I pull into Micky D’s, run to the trunk and pull out the biggest pair of jeans I could find! A size 14 Misses...yeah right....I am not a 14 and I certainly am not in a misses...what the heck...I grab them and run into the restroom which has the size stall of one of my kitchen cupboards. I literally have to peel my pants off of me...My skin is red and I am in tears...not necessarily pain...but all emotions running together  (waterproof mascara was my next purchase). OK so the pants are lying on the floor (what there is of it) and I begin the process of trying to put Jodi’s jeans on me, thinking that 6 months ago I should have really stuck to my diet. After much pressing, pulling, jumping up and down, a few swear words, they are up. The button and the button hole are miles apart, but I tug, pull, and suck the gut in and yes they button!!! I can't breathe...but they are on! I have a pocket of pudge overflowing from the front and the back. The jeans are fading and worn...but they are thankfully on! The style is the low cut version that looks adorable on a teen...not so much on a 40+ something mother and my shirt barely covers the rolls that now are protruding outside of the jeans. Now I don't mean to give you more information than you need however there was no way they were going on if I had to wear panties. I rushed back to my car...looked in the trunk for something to cover the now brown driver’s seat. Another blessing from above...there was also in the goodwill bag an old bathroom rug with a rubber backing, I placed that in the car seat and off I was to court! I had to parallel park across the street from the courthouse, which I hadn't done in 20 years and rushed (turning blue the entire way) into the courthouse. Now I'm not a complainer, but of course the courtroom was on the 3rd floor and I was running late as the hearing was set for 9:00am. I took the stairs in a sideward gait, thinking that if these jeans were to split I would be arrested for indecent exposure. I made it to the courtroom, which I might add had already started...”quiet in the courtroom” is what the officer stated as I walked in. Yeah....I could barely breathe let alone talk. I sat in the back....turning blue...trying to breathe....wooden seats (I didn't dare try to cross my legs). At 10:45...I am still semi sitting there when I hear someone's cell phone singing away (very loudly) as the judge is trying to talk to a teenager. At that moment I realize it is my phone that is disturbing the court, and I swear I cannot find the stupid thing to turn it off! All eyes on me...now, it blissfully stops singing and begins beeping. The judge wants to know whose phone it is and I raise my hand...apologize to the court...as he throws me out of the courtroom. He states that I can come back in after I dispose of the phone. I meekly leave and ask one of the officers standing outside of the courtroom if they could hold on to it and explained that it went off in the courtroom and of course they reply “no...That I should just put it in my pocket AFTER I turn it off”. One of them also mentions that the judge was in a really cranky mood today (of course he is). Well Jodi’s jeans do not have pockets and even if they did I surely wouldn’t risk stuff one more ounce of anything in them. I turn it off and gingerly put it in my sock (not a pretty sight having to heave my leg onto a wooden bench to place it in there as I again wonder how long they’re going to hold out). As I walk into the courtroom....all eyes on me.... the court calls Jodi’s name...the judge throws the book at her! She'll be out in hopefully 4 months, when we go back to the same court...same judge. I will bring an extra set of clothes, bring no coffee and leave that darn phone in the car. True story...sad but true. One day...Jodi and I will laugh together about the trials and troubles of her childhood. I pray for her daily and hope that she will become the woman I always wanted to be.

Motherhood

Being a mother is the hardest and most important role in my life. I never knew what that would mean though….when we decided to have children what that would mean to our every day normal (and sometimes boring life). I had the fantasy that when you had a child (or children) that all would be rosy, cheerful and good. Don’t get me wrong, the little bundles of joy bring me so much pleasure I can hardly stand myself. Their cute little cherub faces, love in their eyes and their sense of peace when they lie their little heads down for sleep. Ah sleep! No one ever told me that once you have these little people (which is what I call most children) that sleep would come in spurts…if at all. No sleep because the baby is crying, or the little people would need your assurance after a nightmare has them scared out of their wits. It goes on through their teenage years as well when a love of theirs dumps them and they need your love and support to get the through the rough patches. Sleep doesn’t come when they move out either; you stay up wondering if you raised them well enough for them to look after themselves. I can sleep later. Something else comes over you when you decide to have children FEAR! I have never been a fearful  child, teenager or young adult…it wasn’t until after having sweet babies fear became a constant companion (now it’s almost like an old friend). When you bring that little person home, you become totally responsible for their every need – and they are needy! Why are they crying? Why are they fussy? What is that rash? Do I change them often enough? It goes on…fearful of …what did they swallow – a quarter?, what if they fall and hurt themselves? Why aren’t they getting good grades, why in the earth would they have a fist fight at school, where they are – it’s 2:00 in the morning? Are they drinking, using drugs seeing a person that is less than desirable? Do they break the law when I’m not there to guide them in the right path? They know the right path...I have done my job; I have set a good example! I have dragged them to church, to vacation outings, to Boy Scout camp, on field trips; I have been a room mother, a den mother, and mother hen. I have sat with them around the kitchen table while they rant and rave at the unfair world about friends, grades, boyfriend/ girlfriend issues, I have made clothing, quilts and resumes. They know right from wrong, but alas they are people too…mostly grown young adults now, finding their own way, their own path. They have to stumble and fall again and again…and I will have to let them go. I have been catching them for so long; it is hard to let them fall without being “a safe spot  for them to land on”. I have to let them make decisions and face their consequences. What if they don’t make the right choice...then what…ah they will learn a lesson and isn’t that what life is all about? Learning from ones mistakes, facing consequences, fighting for what you believe in? Hello fear I see your back!